The You Is Silent

I hate that I make her feel the way that you make me feel.

I hate that when I don't answer her calls, I know exactly how she's feeling because that's how I feel when you don't answer mine.

I hate that she wants me as much as I want you.

I hate that I am compelled to think up increasingly clever ways of commandeering your attention the way that she pulls increasingly miserable stunts to gain mine.

I hate that I spend hours restlessly waiting for your reply the way that she spends hours anxiously waiting for mine.

I hate that I let her down over and over the way you let me down over and over.

I hate that she throws herself at me the way I want to throw myself at you.

I hate that I am hurting her the way that you are hurting me.

I hate how she feels empty when I'm not around the way I feel cavernous when you are not.

But I love that it feels like I can get revenge on the universe in some twisted way by squeezing the life out of her the way you squeeze the life out of me.

Martha Marcy May Marlene and Me

Things that made me laugh about Martha Marcy May Marlene:

The big, old, decaying house
The endless cleaning
"Soon the government will collapse and people will go back to living on farms like this."
The dirty kids running around
The terrible musicians and songs ('Marcy's Song' excluded)
"He's right, I don't know why I'm so weak."
Always looking forward to financial stability "just around the corner"
Naivety about football, professional sports, and television in general
And niche hobbies and modern nutritional fads
And everything
"I don't know, it's a big bed -- you guys were on the other side."
HOW DID THEY GET SO MANY HOT NEW DISCIPLES WHAT THE HELL!
Official 'meal times'
"Your body doesn't need that much food, you'll get used to it."
Child care
Calling parents to ask for money
"You have so much potential."
"Morally superior moochers who live off and lecture you while insisting that you can't measure success by money and possessions"
The whiteboard by the phone and the phone protocol written on it
"You're a teacher and a leader."


While the 'cult' obviously had issues, the 'normal' sister and her husband weren't completely beautiful people either. Did they have to have such sticks up their asses about every little thing? Of course, I'm no one to judge. I've never had anything up my ass, and maybe the way they act is just normal, modern human behavior. Still, I wish people wouldn't have such a snobby attitude toward, for one, the natural, naked state of the human figure.

Some of the 'cult's' behavior was a bit improbable too. Although I have definitely seen how the ritualization of violation can definitely make some very wrong things sacred, I think the commonplace breaking-and-entering and the casual murdering was a bit far-fetched even for weird cults.

As far as the rape-cleansing ritual, I think the script's writer was trying to explain to himself through drastic measures how it is possible for people to be convinced to live alternative lifestyles. Maybe he doesn't realize or couldn't understand that you don't need to be 'raped' into an alternative lifestyle -- it is possible to just be seduced. Sometimes mainstream and society just isn't for you. Many people, of their own volition, live outside the norm, both idealistically and even sexually. Sometimes it even becomes a new norm, like monogamy once did. I don't think rape and roofies are necessary for a person to decide that the way many other people are doing things just isn't for her.

How to Make Love to a Friend - Part Four: Dangers

Part Four: Dangers
If you missed the other parts in this series, you can find them at the following links:
Part 1: Eros
Part 2: Philos
Part 3: Agape

Here are a few of the most common dangers that can rear their ugly heads when making love to a friend. Most of these dangers occur not while what is happening still has anything to do with friendship but when either or both of you allow the wonderful thing you have to twist into something else. When your normal human insecurities stand up and insist that you protect yourself by snatching as much control of your friend as you can finagle. That is what will put the poison into your piñata.

Ignore the urge to move in with your friend and start a magical life together. It is when you give in to the impulses that begin to drag you down this path that things inevitably begin to turn sour. Possessive thoughts that begin with "my" (my baby, my man, my princess - even "us" actually means "my") will slit the throat of the goose that is laying gold for you right now.

Friends do not belong to each other; they simply enjoy each other. They don't try to manipulate each other into giving them more. They are thrilled when they are in each other's company, and they live and let live when they are apart.

If you can at all fathom it, encourage your friend to sleep with other people. Friends don't exclude their friends - from themselves or from the rest of life. Exclusivity is the enemy of friendship. It will rot your friendship faster than almost anything else. Do whatever you have to to avoid it and to avoid wanting it.

The main reason why the kind of friendship I describe is so rare is because people are greedy by nature. We can't help it. We want it all, and we want it right now. We want to own things and people, and we don't care what it does to them. We want our little kingdom with at least one subject who fauns over us, clings to us, and sits beside us on our bed at night tapping away on their laptop.

You can't help it. This is who you are as a human being. Anytime there is a self, there is a tendency to want to put that self first. (Lewis, 1943)

My only advice to you is to try to focus your greed in any other direction than your priceless friendships. Take it out on a stuffed animal, a musical instrument, a puppy, or even money if you must. Wrap your voracious, clutching arms around the necks of these items and drag them into your world to stay. Be greedy for things if it helps you simply sit back and enjoy your friendship. If you can't sheathe the sword, at least remove it from your friend's throat.

As hard as it may be to hear, often the best way to be cured of the disease of wanting only one person all for yourself (one-itis) is to learn to want other people. Think about that for a bit. When you learn to open yourself up and leave yourself open to the amazing world full of amazing people around you, you will lead an amazing life.


This concludes the How to Make Love to a Friend exclusive special feature of this blog. Visit us regularly for new breakthroughs, trends, and tips that will improve your sex life.

How to Make Love to a Friend - Part Three: Agape

 

Part Three: Agape
Once you and your friend have shown each other that you are both able to handle the complete, all-inclusive version of friendship that so few ever attain, the fun can really begin. Believe me when I say that until you've made love to a friend, you've never really made love. You may have glutted yourself with one-night stands or marital bliss till it came out your nose, but you've never made love like this before.

At this stage it's crucial to be as clear and as deliberate as possible with your friend so that no mixed signals are sent in either direction. When you are in the mood for making love to your friend or not making love to them, let them know in terms that are not uncertain. One of the biggest benefits in friends with benefits is the absence of mind games. Instead of using sex as a way to secure intimacy with your partner or using friendship as a way to try to get into their pants, you now have the opportunity to  experience both friendship and sex in their pure, unadulterated forms. But it's up to you to keep it that way. Mind games are forbidden.

Although it is important to be deliberate about your actions, it's not necessary to be crass. You can demonstrate to them your intention without trying to sound like a porn star. For this third stage, once again I recommend that you both be sober and sane. Men and women alike, have some balls, and show your friend that you are not afraid to touch them with loaded fingertips, to lie with your faces close together and carry on an electric conversation laced with risque and spices.

This is the stage that will set the tone for the rest of your friendship, so be careful, and be crazy. Be what you want to be; don't hold back - that IS what friends are for. For god's sake, though, don't be timid. If you are timid, you will ruin the entire point of this proposal. You are FRIENDS. You're allowed to make a mess, break stuff, throw stuff. Do things and say things that you probably couldn't with a regular partner. Leave the lights on. Maintain complete dominance of every one of your senses for the breathtaking relish that these moments of discovering each others' final frontiers will be.

Take full advantage of the fact that this a friend with whom you are making love.

Agape is the word for unconditional love. It is a combination of all the various kinds of love mixed up together and thrown into one. It means that you love every part, parcel, and facet of your friend no matter how small or how taboo. It is simply impossible to experience this kind of love in any other kind of relationship. You can't wrap up your family in this word because there are parts of who they are and what they do behind closed doors that just gross you out. You can't plunge into this word with your spouse because you secretly hate the thought that they might ever be attracted to anyone else besides you, which is a routine part of human existence. You can't get hopelessly lost in agape with your platonic friends because you've erected a fence around essential parts of you to keep them out.

Although you may be able to tolerate every part of the other people in your life, sadly, you will probably never embrace them as the complete people that they are. In some cases, it's true, it's better not to. But when it is possible, it is paradise.

Stay tuned next Monday evening for some of the dangers of making love to a friend.


How to Make Love to a Friend is an exclusive special feature of this blog. Visit us Monday evenings for new episodes in the How to Make Love to a Friend series.

If you would like to read the other parts in this series, you can find them at the following links:
Part 1: Eros
Part 2: Philos
Part 3: Agape
Part 4: Dangers

How to Make Love to a Friend - Part Two: Philos

Part Two: Philos
Now that you have experienced your friend as a complete human being, physical, spiritual, and sexual, and have acknowledged all parts of their humanity, you are in a much better position to be a really great friend. At this stage, it's important to reaffirm the friendship side of your relation, so leave the sex aside for a while.

Don't act like it never happened. It did, and you both loved it, so let it glow in your eyes, but don't try to build on it for now. Now is the time to let your friend know that you value them as a friend. Spend time together doing what you used to love to do. Go out for drinks, and don't sexualize the evening. The best part about making love to a friend is that it doesn't always have to be about the eros or the emotion. It can and will be WHEN YOU WANT IT TO BE. And then it won't be WHEN YOU DON'T WANT IT TO BE. If you want to obsess over either eros or emotion, get a wife. Friends are only part-time lovers.

While you are placing the eros aside and focusing on the philos, don't disrespect your friend by flirting with other people in front of them. Although some friends will be okay with it, many will not, and it's important to keep the mutual respect at impeccable levels until you find out exactly where your comfort zones are. (While jealousy can be a great tool to gain attention in initial attraction phases, it's never polite to flirt with someone else in front of another person with whom you are already intimate, be they friend, fiance, or fuck-buddy, so don't do it.) Enjoy your friend's company, and show each other that, sex or no sex, you are friends first.

Because one of the best parts about making love to a friend is the flexibility that is built into the rapport, in this stage you may even want to down a few drinks while continuing to keep your hands off each other. This demonstrates to each other that it wasn't only the alcohol talking, that your sexual sides are entirely under your respective controls, and that you are perfectly capable of having a great time together and even drinking without necessarily falling into a pattern.

The limits are defined by you, and there are no ruts when making love to a friend. If you are able to keep intact the friend part of making love to a friend, your journey with us will continue.


How to Make Love to a Friend is an exclusive special feature of this blog. Visit us Monday evenings for new episodes in the How to Make Love to a Friend series.

If you would like to read the other parts in this series, you can find them at the following links:
Part 1: Eros
Part 2: Philos
Part 3: Agape
Part 4: Dangers

How to Make Love to a Friend

Part One: Eros
Making love to a friend is not only one of the best kinds of making love, it is also one of the best things you can do to a friend. Contrary to the Black Swan twins' recent re-emphasis in two similarly-titled movies (No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits) of the tired, old Hollywood cliche that friends and sex don't mix, these two ingredients can actually make some of the most delicious of life's desserts.

When making love to a friend, it's important that both parties know what they want. Unfortunately, that is often the one thing neither is sure of. For instance, if you want to just get a fantasy out of the way and then get back to being only friends, you will have to do things differently than if you want to transform your friend into a potential romantic interest. Things must also be done completely differently if you want to keep your friendship on a sexual level and also keep your friendship.

Whatever you think your intentions are, getting a small taste of that other side of your friend can help clear things up for you considerably. Sample your friend, and you may be surprised at what you find. Maybe you and your friend won't be compatible in bed. Or maybe getting to know them in that way just once will bind you closer as friends than ever before. However things turn out, it is vitally important to ensure that your first taste of each other DOES NOT COUNT.

This is Eros, the first phase of making love to a friend. To make sure that it doesn't count, I highly recommend alcohol. Attend a wild party and drink just enough that both of you are able to say the next morning that you were not fully yourselves last night. Don't drink anything, though, that would keep you from completely enjoying your friend or remembering them. Extenuating circumstances will now allow you make instinctive overtures to your friend, as men and women are supposed to. This, as far as your basic instincts are concerned, is what the opposite sex, friend or foe, was created for, so don't be shy.

Feel free to go as far as the moment takes you during this initial phase; remember, it doesn't count. Thanks to the alcohol, no matter what happens, your plausible deniability will remain intact. Remember too, as the moment swirls around you, that, more than just a wild party, this is also research. It is a fantasy football team, a what-if scenario, an experiment that will remain completely off the books if you want it to or recur if the results are satisfactory.

If you decide you aren't sexually compatible with your friend, your journey with us ends here. The friend part will continue, but the making love part will stop. You will most likely find your friendship enriched, understand your friend in entirely different ways now, and have one more silly moment of past history to laugh about.

If you decide you are romantically attracted to your friend, your journey with us also ends here. While the making love part will probably continue, the friend part will most likely grind to a long, painful halt. You will have someone on whose shoulder you will temporarily be able to rest your head when the other fragments of your life begin to pile up, and you will be able to lose yourself for now in a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. You should, however, begin looking for another friend.

If you decide that you and your friend make magic together, both on the kitchen counter and off, welcome aboard; your journey with us has just begun.


How to Make Love to a Friend is an exclusive special feature of this blog. Visit us Monday evenings for new episodes in the How to Make Love to a Friend series.

If you would like to read the other parts in this series, you can find them at the following links:
Part 1: Eros
Part 2: Philos
Part 3: Agape
Part 4: Dangers

Let's Go Get Raped!

Sex, drugs, alcohol - yawn, boring. These things have been an idolized part of pop culture for so long that they no longer turn heads. They have been firmly cemented into our party psyche to where it's a regular thing to cruise high, pop a bottle, and get laid. Regular Friday night. No big deal. What's next?

How about rape?

Well, date rape. And, actually, BEING raped, to be exact.

As an avid pop culture/party observer/goer, I am as fascinated by the latest in revelry trends as the next guy. Also like him, I like to keep an eye on the future - sort of try to predict what might be the next big thing on the party menu. And it has come to my attention that it is becoming increasingly popular to wake up after a weekend of partying and have little idea of what you've just done - or been done to.

A trend probably started by 2009's The Hangover, waking up clueless after a party has since become such a cliche that it sounds trite just mentioning it. That's because it is following the path previously taken by sex, drugs, and alcohol toward a thorough de-mystification, regularization, and integration into modern party culture.

The Hangover was so brilliant that it skyrocketed its three formerly unknown stars into immediate fame, made almost $500 million dollars to date, won a Golden Globe, and inspired a rash of music and film references, as well as a sequel. It essentially made 'forgetting' cool.

Thank you, Hangover.

Waking up clueless is difficult to do with alcohol but easy as pie, as depicted in the films, with roofies and other anti-remembering pills. These pills are most well-known for their rape-related side effects. Forgetting comes with pills, which come with rape.

Tonight, Tonight, by Hot Chelle Rae, currently number 12 on Billboard's US Pop chart and number 20 on their US Hot 100 chart, states: I woke up with a strange tattoo - not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket - and it kinda looks just like you mixed with Zack Galifianakis.

Smile, by Avril Lavigne, which peaked at number 36 on the US Pop chart, says: Last night I blacked out, I think - what did you put in my drink? This was done to her by someone she is in love with. She lists the fragmented things she remembers doing, comments on her obligatory new tattoo, and then says she'd do it all over again.

Good Life, by OneRepublic, currently at 16 on the US Hot 100 and 6 on the US Adult Pop charts, talks about waking up in a strange city, having no idea how he got there, but having some pictures on his phone.

Last Friday Night, by Katy Perry, currently number 4 on the US Hot 100 chart, is entirely devoted to describing a scene similar to the post-party Hangovers. There's a stranger in her bed, a warrant out for her arrest, and she's trying to connect the dots. Last night is a blacked out blur and she thinks she kissed someone but she forgot.

Then there are the many less-obvious references. Big Sean's My Last has a verse dedicated to waking up not remembering anything. Katy Perry's ET discloses how she wants to get filled with poison, abducted, and become a victim. The album containing Sleeping With Sirens' hit song Do It Now, Remember It Later peaked at 78 on Billboard's Hot 200 and hit number 5 in the Hard Rock chart.

The weirdest thing about this latest rash of date rape songs is how in each case the drugging has happened to the artists themselves, possibly self-inflicted or possibly done to them by someone else. They are thrilled with it and, in many cases, state explicitly how they can't wait to do it again.

Now that my point has been proven, let me emphasize that I'm no naysaying conservative and I'm definitely NOT a conspiracy theorist. This is just information, for better or for worse.

There may be a day in the near future where it's the cool thing to wake up sore, scarred, and clueless. Don't think it couldn't happen - it wasn't that long ago that Elvis was banned from the MTVs of his era for doing what by today's standards is a slightly comical dance. Rendering yourself clueless could very well be the next big thing, if it isn't already.

Where will you be?

My Illustrious Goals In Life

My goals are as follows.

1: Die.
But dying is neither as morbid or as easy as it sounds. I may have a death wish but I am still a huge opponent of both suicide and gratuitous risks. Therefore death in my case can only come by either a fortunate accident or the typical process of decay -- pretty much the same gauntlet that every other living thing runs.

Not that I even really want to die, simply that cursory scrutiny indicates that it may make everything a lot less complicated. Until my stroke of luck, however, here's only hoping.

2: Work Only Under Inspiration.
Here I leave space for those all "great" things that you obsessive accomplishment addicts continually crave another fix of. The only difference is, if it ever happens to me, I, one, will still have lived a happy-go-lucky life, two, will have been brought nothing but joy by any processes of achieving, and, three, will not be all sweaty.

Let me let you in on a little secret. There are billions of people in the world. No matter how hard you work and how talented you are, there will always be a throng of people who have worked harder and are more talented plus luckier than you. You will work your ass off and still end up being mediocre. I, personally, would much rather enjoy my life and be mediocre. Which brings us to our next goal.

3: Be a Minimizer.
This essentially means to work as little as necessary to stay alive and comfortable. This is easier done than explained so I'll just do it and leave the curious professionals to their day jobs.

I toast those of you who worry about your future, your career, and your humanity -- you make the world go 'round. This is not to say I have no mission. I still love aid, worship, and spreading good news. What it means is this: I take life as it comes, multiple times, but I take off in the interim.

The Stoner Chapter

I don't smoke marijuana. I never have.

If that makes me a dork, too bad. If it makes me upstanding, also too bad. It's just the truth, I have never smoked marijuana.

But that's not to say I can help but admire people who do.

I would like to turn your attention to the first book of Corinthians, chapter 13. We'll start at verse 4, the most perfect and moving description of a loving person to be found in the Bible.

Also the perfect description of a stoner.

Let's go through it and see if you can see some uncanny parallels, like I do.

Love suffers long and is kind.
"What is that thing that you get in and it takes you places? You guys know what I'm talking about?"
"Yeah man it's called a car, we're in one right now.."

Love does not envy, parade itself, or act puffed up.
"Whoa duude your hand is soo big.."

Does not behave rudely or seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil.
"I tootally get where you're coming from maan.."

Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth.
"Duude the stars are so pretty at night time.."

Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
"Seriously brosef, everyone in the whole world should just like stop fighting man.."


Is there a more precise, accurate description of a loving man than one who is high? If the whole point of life is not to make money, not to accomplish things or to get ahead, but to love our fellow man--and if human nature is inherently selfish and evil--doesn't it make sense that one would want to inhibit the petty, greedy areas of one's brain, and break through to a higher, spiritual dimension where all is love and tolerance?

Question: There's a stoner on the left and a stoner on the right, who wins?

Answer: Who wins what?

.

Date an Outsider

As part of the Change Program and re-evaluating our official stances on everything, I would like to suggest a minor change.

In secular society, many workplaces have what they call a "no inter-office relationship" policy. This means that no dating, non-sexual affection, or sex, is allowed between co-workers. There are many reasons for this--favoritism between a leader / team member in a relationship, debilitating office gossip that tends to follow inter-office romance, tension that occurs when one partner wants to end it before the other--even cases of sexual harassment.

But the main reason inter-office relationships are frowned on is that it creates in the workplace an unfavorable climate towards ...working. Workplace decisions should not be clouded by the possibly career-impacting influence that stems from an emotionally charged atmosphere. So "fishing off the company pier" is looked on negatively, and "getting your honey where you get your money" is discouraged.

In the Family we now have a longer term vision, and just like we're learning the hard way about higher education, secular employment and schooling, etc, I wonder if we either should now or will eventually have to come to grips with the inter-office dating that runs rampant through our workplaces.

People, we should only allow sex / dating / relationships with outsiders! This would mean, conversely, no sex / dating / relationships whatsoever with other Family members (with the possible complication / exception of marriage).

If you are allowed to date your witnessing partner, you can't help but eventually consider it. Soon, your work time and energies, instead of going toward the Offensive begin to be taken up by small emotional conflicts and quickies. You start holding hands when you're out, and eventually you're thinking more about what your partner is wearing / thinking, instead of feeding the sheep sitting before you.

All of this is augmented considerably if he or she is the only person you can feasibly date in your entire city or area.

Very few people, devout Christians or not, are mature enough to separate their professional and personal lives when the two come into such close contact. Human nature craves too much that interaction with your significant or not-so-significant other. The lines gray between work and play, and when there is an area witnessing offensive, manpower flocks to it, abandoning their own works. --But not for the witnessing as much as the sex. And then entire stable missionary works can be upset by the accidental babies that occur in opposite ends of the continent.

And life becomes difficult when you have to continue living with or having contact with someone after it's over. If one of you doesn't move far away or stop frequenting the same places, then there is a mountain of working out to be done, usually during work hours. Either way, the Offensive takes the hit. Although we're all very dedicated people and experts in many spiritual areas, I don't know if you can expect us to be relationship experts too.

If you want to be successful in your work life and communal life, support the Date-an-Outsider project--and keep your personal life where it belongs.

Trust me, i know.


*

The Forsaken Frontiers of Sex

When you look at the progress that as a species we've made in the fields of math or science, say, it is quite impressive. Or aerodynamics. You could study that stuff for years and STILL not know all that is possible to learn on the topic. There is also no way you could invent or discover all those enlightening things in one lifetime. It took us thousands of years of generations each building on what the other had learned to get to the insane amount of complex truths we have nowadays.

Back in the day, your father would come up to you when you turned eighteen. It would be time for that talk. He would say, "Look, son, there's something I have to talk to you about. I've been doing quite a bit of studying and research over my years, and now I'm getting to be an old man. But in that time I've learned that you can take one big rock and ADD it to another big rock, and then you'll have TWO big rocks!" It was simply amazing back then.

And then you could go on and study and research and discover that, wow--if you took those two rocks, and MINUSED one of the rocks from it, you'd be back at ONE rock again! So you'd pass that on to your son, and he'd go on and discover something new and wonderful in his lifetime. And eventually they were getting to cool things like division and Pythagorean theorems and nuclear physics. Today it takes at least twelve years just to get the minimum of knowledge you need to survive in these times.

See why the human race has such a problem with good sex? --You can't pass that kind of thing on to your kids!

Imagine your dad: "Hey, son, I want to show you this little trick that I learned on your mother." --It just doesn't work like that! One generation hasn't been able to build on the knowledge of the others before it, and thus discover great and wonderful new things. If your dad told you anything about sex at all it was probably vague and far too minimalist to actually do you any good. So here we are, still stuck in the sex stone age adding big rocks together.

Eventually they invented sex experts, who try to do their best--but we've already lost thousands of years of time that could have been spent discovering wonderful new things about this crucial field of research. We're still like, "Uh, I just put it in and wiggle it around, right?" when, imagine, we could be onto polynomial orgasms to the thirteenth power and astro-fusion sex positions. This deeply saddens me.

So, it's up to us. (Someone has to take sex seriously.)

I commission you, for the good of humanity, to go out and learn all there is to know about sex. But once you've done that, don't stop there! Build on that. Discover new things with your partner. Multiply! Divide! Calculus..ify!

And write it down! For God's sake write it down so other generations can benefit from it, and discover more, braver, newer things. And we, we will not be satisfied until we have sent a man to the moon! It has finally come the time to push back the forsaken frontiers of sex in the name of higher learning. In the name of mankind!

Godspeed.


Joe.

Sex makes everything complicated

--Even when you don't have it, the not having it... makes things complicated.

Which is why it's usually better to have it.

...some say.




--The Holiday (2006) (look it up)

My Confessions

I'm probably going to regret this as soon as I say it...

Hmm...

So I just won't say it!

Alright!

.

To Date, Or To "Date"?

In the normal Family vernacular, to "have a date" with someone literally means sex. It means you are going to go to their room wearing something silky and easy to take off, slip under their covers whispering sexy nothings into their ears, and start kissing their neck as your fingers find their way under their shirt.
Although it is fun most of the time, and sure gets down to the point fast, this one bugs me a little bit. In society at large, "having a date" with someone, (or "dating" someone), means that you are doing special things together with them. You might start off with a romantic meal or a sunset in a park together. Sex may or may not happen (hopefully may), but it is not a given to start out with--you have to work for it--and not necessarily always the goal. It is the whole slow seduction process and the prolonged enjoyment of the other person, many times in a public setting, the tease, the game plan--the dressing (as in "salad dressing")--that builds up to the final prestige, that is missing.
"Let's have a date," in the Family, means, in general, "let's have sex." I wish we could make a conscious effort to change that, even just a little bit. Why not take someone out on a date TODAY! Go throw food at some pigeons, or go for a boat ride in a lake together. Go have a frappucino over heated discussion. Climb into her bed with no explanation, but a copy of "Entering Into Rest" under your arm--a Word date! Go out just the two of you and play romantic songs to each other under a birch tree. THEN kiss her! THEN take her home with you! Seduce her instead of just the given one-liner. Try it!

Love, Joe.

PS
Since writing this, I have found good use for that line and the casual sex that suffixes it. It makes the whole asking process a lot easier. I have also noticed a prevalent flocking towards Borat's succinct colloquialism "sexy times," as a comfortable way to refer to the subject without embarrassing yourself.
The things we adopt to avoid just saying so.
Still, I think that if we became just a little more relaxed and familiar with just asking for exactly what we want, it might do us a lot of good. And who knows, maybe if we became a little more comfortable with bringing up sex in so many words when necessary... maybe we'd also be a little bit closer to throwing vernacular to the wind every once in a while--and asking her out for a real date.

Did You Know That...

...whenever I am trying to put a label on a post, I have to cycle through all the letters of the alphabet to see which labels I already have, and which one(s) fit the post best? Because I don't have the faintest idea what my labels say, and I don't wanna create a whole new one for each post! Now THAT would be terrible! (FOR EXAMPLE: the post where i go on and on about how i choose labels for my posts) (OR: i still can't get over how cool this label thing is)
So here I go, Q, W, E, R.......

Love, Joe.



PS UPDATE
HEY. FDTP ROCKS. INTERNET IS SO CARNAL HERE. NOT TO MENTION FAR (the article above is a draft that I wrote before I left...hehe). AM LEARNING A LOT. 13 HOUR SHIFTS WILL DO THAT TO YOU. AM ALSO ENJOYING A LOT.
ONE THING I DON´T HAVE TIME TO DO IS GO THROUGH ALL THE RECENT COMMENTS AND EDIT THEM. I WILL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BUT FOR NOW, IF THERE IS ANYTHING UNEDIFYING, FORGIVE ME, FORGIVE THEM, LOOK AWAY. AND TO YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THE WHOLE STAR WARS THING BELOW, ENOUGH OKAY. THANKS!

Small Things

I hate July because then all the June bugs die.

Sex, Screaming, and STEM

Admit it, that's really what you want to hear about.

I have to tell you that some of the hype is faked. Like when they say, "Okay, everyone in the crowd mosh for a few minutes with all the lights on (so we can get a few good camera shots)." Or when it's, "Is everyone excited to be here? I can't hear you! Scream louder for all the people back home!"

But that's only because capturing down a good dose of the spirit for the record, is hard to do.

But the spirit is real.

Imagine that electric spirit--300 barely known people with similar backgrounds/beliefs, gathered together with two goals: 1, to help the JETTs and teens have fun, and 2, to have fun themselves. Can you imagine the potency in those possibilities? Add love and genuine concern to those explosive ingredients, and you have something that will never die. You have Wordstock.

Love is such a major part of Wordstock. I ended up spending every meal with a different group of JTs, in a different exotic place of the dining room, and I tell you that THAT is where the fun in Wordstock is.

During daylight hours, every extra second (not spent in class or work period), I tried to do my best to grab ahold of a JETT or teen and get to know them. They are thrilling people! In a lot of cases they were even funner than the staff! I am happy to be able to now call many of them my new friends, to be able to add so many of them to my Yahoo contacts, and to have spent the majority of my time there with them. They are the true gold of Wordstock, and I can honestly say that--even though coincidence handed me a room all to myself with a double bed, the best kitchen access in the whole camp, and so many new musical goodies that it's going to be hard to release them all. The JTs--not the sex, screaming or STEM--were really the highlight of Wordstock to me, and what made the $250 worth it, and what I hold in my heart and smile to now, after the fact.

Just having an opportunity to get to know some of them, to try to pour out to them some of my enthusiasm for my Lover and for my Career, and to listen to them, pray with them, pose with them and hug them--that's what I wouldn't trade for anything else I experienced there. That's what I want to emphasize before anything else.

And you JETTs and teens, you know who you are--I salute you. You astounded me. I love you, you are wonderful, I miss you and I can't wait to chat with you and to see you again (I hope, eventually). Let's just get that straight before anything else.

And then...

...Well, there was still the sex, the screaming, and the STEM.

To be continued.

Love, Joe.

For Your Cannons

Perhaps this may come across as stinging.

Why is it that every time I post a devotional excerpt, gratitude activity, multimedic class, appreciation sound bite, or something along those lines--ziiiip, nothing! Everyone is as quiet as mice, except maybe my mom or someone who will open half an eye to say something like, "Alright, very amusing, now let's get back to what we were doing."

But then if I happen to post the slightest little thing that might strike you as more audaciously worded than you are used to, or eccentric in your golden opinion--suddenly I am the Demon of Woe himself, and you are up in arms against this conniving threat to friends and Family. "We can't let this happen! We must stand together! How dare he! Get a life! Curl up and die!"

I'm sorry, what?

Admit it. You come here with your sleeves rolled up, looking for a fight. It's not that I'm a combative person. I have my share of photos and testimonies and perfectly normal things. But you're not here for that. You're looking for someone to slug (possibly me). Aren't you? --Europe? --Africa? --And you in the back there, from California? I see you.

You could find plenty of positive here if you wanted. You could relax and really enjoy yourself--and talk about THAT. And if occasionally something goes down sideways, you could be like, "Yo--molasses? I don't know about that...." And I could take it back to the Lord and we could all be balanced and well-rounded and best of all happy.

But you don't really want that.

Alright, fine. You come here for controversy, that's what you want, who am I to deprive you of it? Have some controversy on a little buttered dish. Sit back and amuse yourself, and if it strikes you wrong, well click that little button and spew your heart out to me (who will only handle it carefully, or delete it if it is a bad sample or spirit).

Go ahead, watch this. You may as well, you came all this way.



Oh, and do come back tomorrow for a picture!

Love, Joe.

Foursome

In the interests of fairness, when I practice Expressions of Ecstasy in sex--shouldn't there be at least two girls, to even things out?

I just think it would be fair, that's all.

Love, Joe.