Friday, January 27, 2006

Find A Woman.

When the Mormons (Latter Day Saints) were under siege in Utah by the FBI for their polygamous practices, death threatened on every side and the sky pitch black, their prophets did a very smart thing. They took refuge in their holiest temple while a standoff was being maintained, and they connived. No one saw them for days. When they finally emerged it was with a brand new revelation from their deceased spiritual leader. No one was surprised: polygamy was no longer part of his idea of the Mormon utopia and all practices were to be discontinued at once. This was written up in no uncertain terms in an abridged version of their statutes and adhered to strictly. The FBI grinned and left. The Church of the Latter Day Saints is currently skirmishing with the Jehovah's Witnesses for first place as the largest new religious movement in the world.


ALPOW is back.

You didn't really think we would give up for long, did you?

This is a brand new ALPOW, the restructured version. There have been a few changes. They are listed briefly below. Our mission is still the same: find a woman, give an orgasm.

I have discovered that our agents, no matter how numerous, cannot be everywhere at once. We must rely on more than physical means to accomplish our goals, that of giving women orgasms. Although we would like nothing more than to be right there, a large part of our efforts will have to be motivation-oriented. It is a beautiful thing when a woman is sexually inspired and confident, there is nothing more pleasing to a man's eyes. It is all about WANT. If you WANT to, you will find your path, by any means possible. It is now our focus to inspire that WANT.

This we will attempt to do by any means possible. Building confidence (there is something absolutely stunning about you, I know it, and I will find it), building fantasies (the most sexually stimulating thing is your mind: let it wander), building anticipation (looking forward is half the fun: anticipate enough and you will make a way for it to happen), building inspiration (the spark that lights the fuse). We believe that we live in a sexually twirling world. We breathe sexy air. We will look deep into your eyes and you will know what we are thinking. If your eyes are unavailable, we will find a way to reach you. Chatting sexy, posting sexy, even through our prayers (the keys of pleasure).

Arousal: the new ALPOW.

We have also opened a male service branch.

Oh yes, I believe that is a necessary part, although one that I will not be involved in. I have allied with Elisabeth deGaalon, and she will be heading up this subdivision of ALPOW. Please address any male-related requests to Liz at our same email address,

Official and unofficial members of ALPOW, both branches, your job from here out is to be as sexy as possible. Create confidence through compliments, build fantasies, use whatever means necessary.
Inspire desire. That is your job. To inspire desire in a woman is a sacred thing. Be creative. Remember the mind is where it begins; you must arouse her mind.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A Credit Blog.

I am back from a seven day mute vacation in San Antonio and owing more apologies than applause upon my return.
I can't do anything right. I admit that.
Wept myself to sleep on the bus back. None of you will fathom why, or how I looked doing it. But everything worked out, and will continue to, no matter how many times I get in the way.
Not to say I didn't have the best vacation ever. I did! IIII did. I, I, I. That is exactly the problem. Let me paraphrase, as I vaguely recall it, a close yet far friend:

I wish I was in prison,
Solitary, if you please.
I'd book myself for eternity,
And throw away the keys.

Maybe that is why we clicked like we did. I am STILL all arms and legs. And mouth. Don't get too close to me.
In other news, I really did have a blast, it couldn't really have BEEN better, socializing, jamming with the creative-elite of the Family, as I see it. Met a ton of famous young people, and neglected to take photos with every single one of them. Audiolinkup Dan, Haven, Steve (yes, Buckle), Justin Spirit, Charlotte and Elizabeth deGaalon, Seth Infused, Debbie Drummer (Tim's wife), Bunny Bigword, Auntie Ruthie (think.. puppets), and Martin "Stay Sweet." These are only the guys you've probably heard of. I would venture to say the people I am have not put up could easily hold ground in a one on one with any of these. You guys mean a lot to me too, even though not many have heard of you yet.
What the heck, I'm putting you up.
Mary-Lou and her huge eyes, sweet Rossi and her twin, Nina's indomitable gait, tender Gin, Claire's delicious meals, Oli's crown of brilliance, Niki's flair, Johnny's bounce, Vince, the David's, the James', Gwen, Joy, all the millions of twins, Keith, Linda, sprightly Adriann and the jewel Jade, Arthur (never forget our club, man), Anita's heart (the one she said she didn't have), and of course, Michelle. I left out a few names for security, but you guys were a beautiful part too. Welcome this guy to the blogging world: Seth Infused. He decided to start a blog while we were there and I highly endorse him for the week he will be online.
Guys, I apologize for a credit post. I know they can be boring for the uninvolved, but you have no idea of the tender spot each of these persons have left. I COULDN'T NOT do it, you understand me? I feel bad that I simply cannot say more, because I am human, as is your attention span.
Meanwhile, clouds are rumbling on the horizon. The contractions of a mind grow closer and closer together, and the sound of a forging in the fog grow louder. A shroud covers a creation and fingers are getting itchy, but still we wait. Forces gather, alliances form. Ideological weapons are loaded, because that is what it is now about.
And you sit there, listening to the birds singing, and the crickets.



Oh I'm back, and do I have some juice for all you REAL barbarians out there. Read the latests comments on Anarchy and Of Women And Orgasms for a sneak preview.
And keep checking back here.


Friday, January 20, 2006


Forget it, AL-POW is disbanded. Or, I don't want to be the head of it anymore. Gio, you can have it if you want, I want nothing to do with it.
Women are priceless. I love you.


Thursday, January 12, 2006


AL-POW is an honorary organization.
Members are responsible to themselves, to God, and to the women, to obey the code. There is no way for me to enforce it.
Would-be members, if you report to, I will do my best to hook you up with a nearby beneficiary.
Women also, send me a quick note at and I will try to hook you up with a member near you.
Remember, this is nothing more than a way to spread love. I love you all!


Yes, we have an actual email. Once again that is

Monday, January 09, 2006

Of Women And Orgasms.

Caution: Relatives, you probably don't want to read this.
Disclaimer: The "women" or "woman" referred to in this article are meant to infer consenting adult women.

I have decided to pioneer a cutting-edge new organization. It has taken much faith, courage, and vision, but the need in the world was just too vast to ignore. I have cried many nights over this, been moved with deep compassion, and finally have hit on a solution: someone needs to do something about it. I have taken up the torch with a vengeance.

Welcome to the inaugaration of the Association for the Liberation of Pre-Orgasmic Women.

AL-POW, for short.

Our motto is, Take No Prisoners.

Our goal is to give women orgasms. Lots of orgasms.

We are especially focused on women who haven't experienced this beautiful thrill, or who rarely do, to help them define their personal path to pleasure, but we also contribute to any willing, adventurous woman.

See, an orgasm, in a woman, is like a trail through a jungle. On the first journeys that path is a tedious, dark walk, through thick foliage and confusion and clutching fears. With persistence, the journey, although tiring, is made. But as you travel that path with more frequency, it becomes surer, more well-defined, easier, quicker, because you know what you're doing--you've been there before. Until finally it is a well-marked road to pleasure, a six-laned highway, an Auto-bahn, with no speed limit.

Our policy is that no woman should have to experience the dry tragedy of life, without orgasms to light their way. And we will go to any... lengths... to realize this utopian world-vision, with as many woman as possible, as many times as possible.

There are far too many women out there who we feel could have a more balanced orgasm-to-everything-else ratio, some of you who don't even have a clue of what you are missing. With your permission, we would like to discover this together, explore together, shoot for the stars, unearth the glittering potential.

Excuse me if I get carried away. I feel strongly.

For some, this may take time at the beginning. It may require an intimidating amount of time and work, but we vow never to be intimidated, and never to give up. No case is too hard to bring to climactic closure. No fear too numbing that we cannot confront together with patience and tenderness. No history too entrenched to uproot. No habit too enmeshed that we will not lift a finger, or even lend a whole hand, to help. Closure comes when the path is well-defined, when you are confident in your ability to be satisfied (which is satisfying); when the slate is licked clean, the outlook is fresh, the future tingling with excitement and potential.

We pledge to never pass up an opportunity to give a woman an orgasm. We pledge to do everything to the best of our ability to make you feel good. We pledge to make you beg for more, and we pledge to give more freely. No woman is too tender or too calloused or too satiated to merit our disregard. No terrain too uncharted that we will shy away from--or even too charted. Not even a well-defined path--an already present highway to pleasure--will daunt us. Nay, but we will savour these, relish the ease and freedom with which the treasure hunt is made possible. We will welcome you non pre-orgasmic women (POW's) with open arms. Even if it is a regular occurence, a few more orgasms NEVER hurt anyone. You are as much our unflinching duty, and our ecstatic pleasure, as any.

We pledge to never stop learning. To never become set as to how we think it must be done. No matter how much success one technique affords, every woman is different, inimitable, irreplaceable. We vow to grow, to stretch with every woman that we are acquainted with. We vow to find solutions.

But most of all, we at the AL-POW vow to have fun, and to spread fun. We vow to spread love without discriminations, without judgement.
With love,

for AL-POW.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

I found...

...eighty bucks.

On the ground.

I'm in MEGA, shopping, tired, hungry, grumpy, staring at the aisle which stretches spotlessly on and on for miles, while my sister picks out ingredients from the shelves. Suddenly I realize that I am staring at the one spot that exists on the entire floor... and that it's green. Green?

I walk over. I pick it up.

I put it in my pocket.

Well, I count it first. 4 $20 bills. Brand new. Someone is watching over me. That should help pay for my bus ride up to Monterrey and back. Where I am starting out my vacation. Not staying there but.. Well, it's too hot. I mean not... You see, I... um... never mind.

I was reminded of:

When I was young I lost my wallet on a Greyhound. It contained, among other valuable keepsakes, 79 dollars. I had been getting into the habit of snitching 20 bucks here and there from the can when ballooning on the weekends at WalMart, and I knew why I had lost that money.

I lost money a fair bit when I was young. In Pakistan I got into the habit of snitching the change from the shopping. Until I was stopped in my tracks by misplacing another enormous sum. The story of my life. That's how I learned not to steal.

So. Boring story of the week award? Wait till you hear about this organization I just invented. Next time.


Friday, January 06, 2006

The Gangles.

Oh, I have so much to post, so much to tell you!

But wait! Let me put it all on hold for a very important day.

There, don't I look sacrificial?

It's King's Day! Celebrate!

Just kidding, Dan.

I apologize for my enthusiasm, (Liz). I would like to be melancholy and frown, and use strictly lowercase letters and less exclamation marks, but I cannot! Today my long lost Guatemalite brother (who met Mama, by the way) is turning... 19, I think. Darn, that's

19? No way. Can't be. It's impossible, isn't he still like 7 or 8?

Hee hee.

Well, Dan, congradulations. The... uh... big 19. We should put a label on this, like sweet 16 or jubilee 50, right? How about: gangly 19! What do you think?

Hmm. What can I say about him? Not like he's a Diva or anything. Hehe. Dan the Faithful. He is Mr. Faithful in like everything he has to do, even if it is shepherding your astray older brother by email.

He bought a truck. Now, THAT puts him into the faithfulness hall of fame.

Not sure how but, he is, I promise.

That also puts him into the car driving/owning world, my mortal enemy. Down with cars! Long live... feet!

Anyway, it's not his fault.

Dan, I dig you. Welcome to the world of people who aren't 18 anymore. Happy Birthday. You are more important than Christmas and, yes, New Years.


Yeah, sorry Dan. There's one of how you really look!