To Date, Or To "Date"?
In the normal Family vernacular, to "have a date" with someone literally means sex. It means you are going to go to their room wearing something silky and easy to take off, slip under their covers whispering sexy nothings into their ears, and start kissing their neck as your fingers find their way under their shirt.
Although it is fun most of the time, and sure gets down to the point fast, this one bugs me a little bit. In society at large, "having a date" with someone, (or "dating" someone), means that you are doing special things together with them. You might start off with a romantic meal or a sunset in a park together. Sex may or may not happen (hopefully may), but it is not a given to start out with--you have to work for it--and not necessarily always the goal. It is the whole slow seduction process and the prolonged enjoyment of the other person, many times in a public setting, the tease, the game plan--the dressing (as in "salad dressing")--that builds up to the final prestige, that is missing.
"Let's have a date," in the Family, means, in general, "let's have sex." I wish we could make a conscious effort to change that, even just a little bit. Why not take someone out on a date TODAY! Go throw food at some pigeons, or go for a boat ride in a lake together. Go have a frappucino over heated discussion. Climb into her bed with no explanation, but a copy of "Entering Into Rest" under your arm--a Word date! Go out just the two of you and play romantic songs to each other under a birch tree. THEN kiss her! THEN take her home with you! Seduce her instead of just the given one-liner. Try it!
Since writing this, I have found good use for that line and the casual sex that suffixes it. It makes the whole asking process a lot easier. I have also noticed a prevalent flocking towards Borat's succinct colloquialism "sexy times," as a comfortable way to refer to the subject without embarrassing yourself.
The things we adopt to avoid just saying so.
Still, I think that if we became just a little more relaxed and familiar with just asking for exactly what we want, it might do us a lot of good. And who knows, maybe if we became a little more comfortable with bringing up sex in so many words when necessary... maybe we'd also be a little bit closer to throwing vernacular to the wind every once in a while--and asking her out for a real date.