My Illustrious Goals In Life

My goals are as follows.

1: Die.
But dying is neither as morbid or as easy as it sounds. I may have a death wish but I am still a huge opponent of both suicide and gratuitous risks. Therefore death in my case can only come by either a fortunate accident or the typical process of decay -- pretty much the same gauntlet that every other living thing runs.

Not that I even really want to die, simply that cursory scrutiny indicates that it may make everything a lot less complicated. Until my stroke of luck, however, here's only hoping.

2: Work Only Under Inspiration.
Here I leave space for those all "great" things that you obsessive accomplishment addicts continually crave another fix of. The only difference is, if it ever happens to me, I, one, will still have lived a happy-go-lucky life, two, will have been brought nothing but joy by any processes of achieving, and, three, will not be all sweaty.

Let me let you in on a little secret. There are billions of people in the world. No matter how hard you work and how talented you are, there will always be a throng of people who have worked harder and are more talented plus luckier than you. You will work your ass off and still end up being mediocre. I, personally, would much rather enjoy my life and be mediocre. Which brings us to our next goal.

3: Be a Minimizer.
This essentially means to work as little as necessary to stay alive and comfortable. This is easier done than explained so I'll just do it and leave the curious professionals to their day jobs.

I toast those of you who worry about your future, your career, and your humanity -- you make the world go 'round. This is not to say I have no mission. I still love aid, worship, and spreading good news. What it means is this: I take life as it comes, multiple times, but I take off in the interim.