Sunday, October 08, 2006

Casual About Intimacy

I don't understand people who are like, "Oh my God, you had sex with THEM?" It's like, "Yes, we happen to turn each other on and there was nothing else pressing to do at the time."
Sex, to me, is not a big emotional deal at all. It's like giving someone an extended hug. It's not like I feel like I'm crossing universal emotional piracy laws when I have sex with someone simply because of convenience: I am there and they are there too--why not?
Maybe I feel altogether far too casual about intimacy but I mean, if someone wanted the luxury of a kind word even when they didn't exactly qualify for the kind word charity food line out behind the homeless shelter, for God's sake let's exchange some kind words and make everyone feel better all around. I have a tongue, there's no shame in rolling out the red carpet.
But it has to be comfortable too. If they're not comfortable with me for whatever personal reason then forget about it, let's just sit apart and avoid eye contact rather than my every blink being misinterpretted and parried. I don't like it when there's this whole mystique and mirrors of, "But they've already had sex with my friend and this other person I know. How can I just let them have me like that so easy." Honestly, who but the most small-minded people are counting? Sex is supposed to happen. Get out of the whole "just another notch on her bedpost" mindset and let her have it. Maybe she'll put up two notches for you.
But really, the whole trepidation about presentation and what if they ask me and how will I deal with it and what if someone calls me a slut and what will they think if we lock eyes or hold hands in a crowded room, and what about the politically incorrect global climate as pertaining to casual heterosexual relations these days? It's just so confusing. Beating around the bush is for beaten men. As I'm writing this, I received an offline that said, "Too bad you're not gonna be at the camp, I wanted to f*** you so bad."
Is there something wrong with that? Is it not honest? Is it unjust? Is it impure, if you conjecture that God creating fucking? It sure is lovely. Is it not of a good report (sure was music to MY ears)? If there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things.
I'm going to be thinking on that thing.

Joe.

28 Comments:

At 8:57 pm, Blogger CurlyCel said...

Interesting thought there! "Come on Ma, Burn your bra" comes to mind. - And I agree that too much "nail-biting" about it is a turn off. (To me at leat!)
I assume you, of course, aren't degrading all consideration/thought before hand though, right? Considering it is part of the LOL to make sure you are considerate of anyone it might affect. - Directly or indirectly. ;)

 
At 10:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I whole-heartedly agree! I hate it when guys abstain cause "that girl used to my brother's gf" or other such nonsense! GAWD!
Wish you were closer Joe, cause like the one who sent you that little hint, I'd also love to fuck you with all my heart! Let's fuck the world, it needs love and Jesus!

 
At 7:42 pm, Blogger Klaire said...

and besides they just call you a slut because they are jellous that they arn't getting any......

 
At 9:25 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

Curlycel: no no, I am absolutely NOT campaigning against any form of pre-planning. I believe strongly in forewarning/organization. Although I am not against spontaniety. Although I realize the guidelines in the Law of Love GNs.
Gosh, PC-ness.. did I miss anything?

Anonymous: Closer? Sounds great. I wish you weren't anonymous, Anonymous. You have my email.

Joe.

 
At 11:52 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've got your e-mail, just never thought about writing you, don't know where to start, heh! Maybe I'll drop you a little note soon, how's that? Then you can find out who the "serial fucker" is, lol! Isn't sex great? Love you man!X!

 
At 12:29 am, Anonymous anti-anonymous said...

Ha, this is funny! Whoever is trying to (still) be politically correct about sex is wasting their time! By the time you correctly finish considering anyone possibly affected, a year has gone by and that might mean you just defeated the purpose (you know, cutting out all the pre planning and pre thinking and pre analysing that is a killer to the animal sex we all secretly or not secretely dream of).
It's sex. Not a relationship, not even a friendship and definitely not marriage. Sex, people, just sex.

 
At 5:15 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

straight up trippen joe tell it like it is

 
At 7:59 pm, Anonymous mom said...

Ya know I totally agree. I'm glad for you.

But you didn't go to the camp after all? maybe somebody thought you'd be fucking too much and not taking care of the teens enough. (there was a whole Letter on that exact thing--ha!)

Love you son

 
At 8:47 am, Blogger CurlyCel said...

Good for you, Joe! ;)

I'm all for spontaneity and fun, but I'm also very considerate, and go figure, I never get called a slut (neither call others such), and its not like I don't get the sex. - Too bad some folks don't know how to enjoy themselves and keep a good name. (Just a thought; I've found if you practice the LOL as you should, you enjoy yourself, and keep things in perspective.)

 
At 9:43 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are just too good for the rest of us. Are you shurre you've never been called ... I mean how'd you know?

 
At 10:03 am, Blogger CurlyCel said...

Whatever, anonymous. - You're obviously missing the point!

 
At 7:11 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha....u guys are funny......sex is sex....why can't we all enjoy & mind our own buisness.... who cares......who's fucking who & when & why....God, it's sex & we all should be enjoying it....& if you're not then I feel for u...& a word of advise...you'd better get to it...cause it may be later then u think.hehehehe
Or u know what....maybe you shouldn't...maybe you couldn't handle it marturely...so yeah...leave it to those who can. ;P
I love u too son...I mean Joe..hehehe

 
At 7:41 pm, Anonymous someone said...

Too bad u're in Guadalajara Joe,or we could have sex some time:p
I think u're damn SEXY!!

 
At 1:33 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

Thank you, someone. Whoever you are, you're on my hit-on list.

Joe.

 
At 1:44 am, Blogger Seiko-Chan said...

wonderful! I agree.

 
At 1:46 am, Blogger Seiko-Chan said...

and its only slutty if one goes about it in an inmature brainless way.

 
At 8:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck on! That's what the world was made for! Love you Joe! You are sexy!

 
At 2:51 am, Blogger Neo said...

Wow, Joe, you are damn lucky. One post about the ethics of sex and half of the girls in the Fam write you requesting intamicy. I say too bad for those who live in boondocksville & NEVER get any sex at all. Weep for me y'all & pray someone shows up in my country.

 
At 8:30 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

one question...why did you put the stars in the offline comment (f***)...or is that just how they wrote the offline?

 
At 7:04 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

I put the stars out of respect to the reader. The person spelled out the word quite deliciously and explicitly, but in that case it seemed a little too obnoxious to include it in all its full, sensual form as it had been. I did put it in a little later, buried below. because there it seemed a little less threatening.

If anyone is offended or annoyed, please tell me and I will look into it. As far as I know, the guidelines in the Word are that we need to keep that word pure and referring to what it actually means. When using it in its correct Anglo-Saxon context, it is acceptable. It is only the curse form that is to be avoided.

Joe.

 
At 10:16 am, Anonymous f|35h said...

Light guy, apparently you scored on this one.

Good deal.

 
At 11:02 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

f|35h:
I don't think it had much to do with the post itself. If people want to say something, they will think it until they find a reason to say it. And like a good friend of mine once said, How can I take credit for something that has absolutely nothing to do with me?

Joe.

 
At 10:42 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:54 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

sorry anonymous--that kind of thing is what "us people" call disrespect.

Joe.

 
At 2:47 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

truth hurts huh?

 
At 2:54 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

actually love, what hurts are the slanderous, twisted misrepresentations of a negative, small-minded, authoritarian flatlander perspective, which, frankly, more than hurt, really only deeply sadden me.
give me an hour though someday, in person, and see if we can't come to some kind of artful agreement on the subject.......

Joe.

 
At 3:24 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well maybe I am the one thats messed up then....cuz it never worked for me and I could never be or feel free doing it.

 
At 6:49 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

i'm sorry, anonymous. i really am. and honestly, it's not the breeze either that this post makes it out 2 be. it takes A LOT of love, humility, and prayer.
but u have 2 believe me that it really can work, and when it does, it really is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Joe.

 

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