Friday, April 21, 2006

Elevator Entertainment

This was sent a while back by someone who knew me well. Snicker. The biggest mall in the city is a five minute walk away, and I have practiced a number of these in their glass backed elevators, while friends watched on the bottom floor. Some of you will be able to picture it.

Joe.


24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator...

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" (This was hard to pronounce in Spanish, but worked well.)

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. (This was fun.)

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. (This I don't think people understood.)

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally. (This one I really couldn't keep from laughing, so it looked dumb.)

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. (This one Ben wouldn't let me do.)

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

11 Comments:

At 12:27 pm, Blogger Joan said...

hahaha, these are things to do to become a, "Henna gaijin"

I love the last one..

 
At 6:14 pm, Anonymous clare said...

Would ahve loved to be on that elevator with you :o)

 
At 6:55 pm, Blogger Florence said...

ohhhh man. i love these. i would totally love doing these.
except in japan no one will respond.

 
At 10:24 pm, Anonymous mom said...

We all thought it was very funny, and somebody (SGA of course) had another one--push a button and pretend that you got a shock, but then act like you liked it and push some more!

And I had one--stand by the elevator and give everyone a tract as they enter, and say "God bless you!" with a big smile, (or "God loves you!") hahahaha!

 
At 10:24 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

It's date then, Clare. We'll do it someday.

Mom... I don't know. Maybe the tract one. hehe.

Joe.

 
At 6:36 am, Blogger ditzydevil said...

So true Flo. in Japan people are too polite to even make a facial expression. They'll stare at their feet and that would just defeat the whole purpose of that list.
good stuff Joe...

 
At 2:54 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

First-time commentor; loved all these ideas... particularily 1,11,& 20... only because I've done them.. hehehhe. I've got another one that would surely get a laugh: Stare at another passenger with eyes wide-open and when they finally look at you, squint ever so slowly and say, "Your Mother". As confused as ppl may be, you'd definately get a laugh... I know I did. It's similar to #9, but try it out anyway... there will be results... hehehe

 
At 6:10 pm, Anonymous Nina said...

Joe, Dad and i read these together and we laughed so hard we were crying. I'm so glad you had the balls to do them. I had read them before but would've never done them.

 
At 9:55 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAH I KNOW RIGHT??? THESE ARE SOOO FUNNY. AHAHAHHAHA

 
At 7:32 pm, Blogger turned to stone said...

hahhaha pretty funny tsk tsk...that was like the only funnny one of all of annas jokes that she sends around....but those are super cool...

 
At 8:28 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha Joe must have been a fun experiment!

 

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