Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Drivers Are Murderers

...and should be locked up.

Picture this.

You are walking back to your car, it is dark. Beside you is a usually busy traffic artery, almost abandoned at this hour.
You hear a chorus of girlish screams to one side, normal for a Saturday night. One of them in particular catches your attention because of its desperation, terror, and because it is harmonizing with the squealing of rubber. You turn quickly.
It is amazing how much you can take in in a split second. You see a single car hurtling forward on the empty road. New, grey, SUV, slicing through the cold air, not a care.
Its wheels are completely still.
Locked in position, skidding forward, peeling off smoke behind them, while the car slides along ahead merrily. Then you notice that its windshield is shattered in two places. Two spider's webs of cratered glass, punctured and sparkling, as you puzzle. Jagged veins shooting out from the centers of the impressions split the darkly distorted face sitting behind the wheel into many pieces. You wonder why he is driving with a broken windshield.
Then you see the body.
It is about ten feet above the ground, hovering over the hood, camouflaged against the night sky. It is falling. It is screaming.
The blustering car pays it no attention as the body rockets downward again, crumpled, twisted like a leaf in the wind. The body bounces off the stabbing, thrusting, merciless hood, arching and snapping unnaturally. Its wrists and neck are curled as it skips along the hood like a stone across water, bruising at every collision. The bumper of the car is ramming it forward, herding it like livestock as it writhes, agonizes, contorts. The car stops with a hiccup and the body continues forward, flinging away from the bumper, hopping across the concrete. It lands almost at your feet and rolls slowly onto its stomach, its tangled hair matted across its back and neck.
It is a woman. Her mini skirt is pulled up to her stomach. There are red welts streaking across her upper legs and her shoes are absent, revealing playful white ankle socks. She is facedown into the gravel on the side of the road. You strain for life signs. What you hear is not welcome. She is whimpering faintly.

Oh, this WILL be continued...


At 7:25 pm, Anonymous teresa said...

joe i hope you know the only reson im commenting is because ive never been the first too.

as for the post, sounds dramatic, a little too dramatic for me but well written none the less.

At 7:26 pm, Anonymous teresa said...


At 7:25 am, Anonymous mia said...

did that really happen??????????

At 8:32 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

teriffying. are you tramatized

At 8:53 am, Anonymous Nina said...

I'm sorry, that must've sucked.

At 9:01 am, Blogger ANNA said...


At 10:29 am, Anonymous teresa said...

um ,yeah ppl get hit by cars all the time. its really nothing new.

At 6:30 pm, Blogger Joan said...

ahahahaha. Yea Joe, with teresa always telling you that, why are you still going on about it? I'd stop if she'd told me, "its no big deal" with her big eyeballs poppin' outta her face. Scary, girl....scaryyyyy!!! :P

At 6:30 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you mentioned SS18, but did you read it? Did you consider and maybe want to rethink and reassess this blog of yours. Out of the abundance of the heart...
And by their fruits ye shall know them.
Dear Joe, maybe you should take the time you spend on making insidious and foolish videos, and writing sad, dark and confusing poetry and songs, and give it to Jesus. He can change your life. Try Him, you just might like Him.
thanks for Listening,

the Dancer

At 6:34 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the Dancer said "poetry" -- that's what this is -- couldve fooled me. confusing, a lot dark, weird, but "poetry"?? -- Joe your blog reeks - get a grip -- wake up - this is Family????????? -- not!!!!!
Make it a witnessing site -- too much sex, too much drink -- whatever dude -- and really too much JOE! -- "just a simple guy"

At 8:49 pm, Anonymous Nina said...

Um hello Haters, although i agree there is too much sex here (being his big sister and all), this is HIS OWN PRIVATE CORNER OF THE INTERNET. Fools. Don't come if you don't like it. Get a life.

At 5:10 am, Blogger Florence said...

To paraphrase the word, if I may (better than using it to justify self-righteous comments)
"I don't care how many Shooting Straights you read, if you don't got are as a sounding brass or tinkling peepee."

Oops. I'm sorry. I was SR. Really out of it. Sorry. I just really like LOVE, that's all.
I love you Joe.

At 5:58 am, Anonymous Dan said...

Joe, can you do me a favor?
Can you remove me from the Parkour video you made.
I don't want to be implicated or have to take any responsibility if some bored 12 year old tries jumping off a roof after watching that and breaks his neck.

At 9:28 am, Blogger Joan said...

Guys, let joe make his own decisions about his blog.

At 5:31 pm, Blogger ANNA said...


At 6:16 pm, Blogger Alyx said...

Ahahahahah...oh it's just that....ahahahahha Oh Joe, why does everyone always pick on you??

Oh well, I love you at any rate, even if SOME people with ISSUES do not..

God bless!

At 9:51 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

Alyx, they pick on me because I stole their women in another life. hehe.

Mic, too much sex? You heard it ladies--watch out for this guy.

Dan, I'm sorry, that's just silly. I do not have the tools nor reason to remove you from that video. No one is going to attempt suicide after watching your part.


At 12:12 pm, Anonymous teresa said...

that'r right dan. plus the stuff you guys do is so pothetic that toddlers wouldn't get hurt doing it,...i doubt that's your reason though, cause i know i would be embarrassed of that stupid video if i were you(either of you), no offense or anything............

At 10:06 pm, Blogger turned to stone said...

jajjaj..everyoness so excited about the SS18...k listen it never says that "joe cant write dark and scary poems" okay?...just ptl and be happy...

eheh...stop polluting his blog with SR vibes!!!

At 6:06 am, Anonymous Dan said...

Ok, that's fine.
Silly or not, I wanted it in print.


At 5:24 pm, Anonymous tom said...

You are geting embareissing JOE!!

At 10:12 am, Anonymous lord slashe`s deminion said...

yes,yes my mighgty comander slash.
my heart is torn with yours.

At 10:17 am, Anonymous lord slashe's deminion said...




At 2:31 am, Blogger LaDiDa said...

hey joe can you pleeeese tell my how you posted videos on yer blog verrry spiffy yessssss. tx


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