Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The Lightbulb Question.

(NOTE: If you were referred here by a strange comment on your webpage or in your email, unfortunately that was placed by someone who does not like me and is trying to take this post out of context to hurt you. May I suggest we use this odd coincidence to have some fun instead? Here look at this one, it's fun! --Ur Beautiful. Or this one! --So Last Night Was Healthy After All.)


yay! i'm being evil apostate bashed! this is so much fun. i've been wanting 2 get bashed by evil apostates 4 a long time.
well, i have 1 thing 2 say.
wait. do i ever have only 1 thing 2 say?

okay. i know! how many evil apostates does it take 2 change a lightbulb? well let's see.

5 to murmur about how lightbulbs were abused in the Family sometime in the past.

5 to make a website proving that evil apostates r actually lightbulbs' friends.

5 to go thru the life w/ grandpa's & find naked pictures of lightbulbs.

5 to make powerpoint presentations showing how the artists didn't invent the lightbulb! those pictures of naked lightbulbs were actually copied, thus disproving prophecy once & 4 all!

5 to write letters 2 all of the lightbulb's siblings 2 show the lack of freedom of lightbulbs in the Family.

3 to try to convince lightbulbs everywhere that thomas edison doesn't exist.

2 to find & twist out of context any references 2 lightbulbs being "turned on" in the letters.

2 to convince policemen all around the world to raid Family Homes at the crack of dawn & remove all lightbulbs from their sockets, 2 a safer environment.

2 to go on tv shows & talk about the high electricity bills in Family Homes, & what this means 4 the emotional mistreatment of the lightbulbs.

30 to work at mcdonalds fulltime 2 support all the murmurers.

1 to carry a butchers knife & a shotgun in case the lightbulb doesn't comply w/ being changed.

and 1 to realize that heck, they don't want the lightbulb changed anyway, they prefer working in darkness.

hmmm: 66!

& aren't i self-righteous?



At 4:26 pm, Anonymous Nina said...

Hey where's the evil apostate bashing thread? I want in!

At 4:46 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hhhahaah woo hoo

At 8:02 pm, Blogger Florence said...

evil apostates? where? where?

At 8:29 pm, Anonymous mom said...

That is so funny! I passed it on to some friend!

At 9:04 pm, Blogger BarbarianDave said...

Hey....I'm an evil apostate, or so some would say. I think it's funny how that term was virtually in no ones vocabulary until it was used in a GN. Isn't it ironic that by using the term apostate so freely with such ineptness, you are only proving the apostates point.
Seriously though, you should come up with your own word for it. Something a little more appropriate, as most people you would call apostates would state that it was never something they came to believe in themselves, thus they are not apostates.
I do relise many family members feel physically threatend. I have to say though that most exers are decent people just trying to make it. There is a small core of extremist who can only think of putting an end to the family. Most people I know don't like hanging around them anyway.

At 9:32 pm, Blogger BarbarianDave said...

Ok I relise that your post is supposed to be a joke, but truthfully, your ignorance is bothering me.
First of all, where do you come up with your numbers...I don't get it.
Second..I don't know or have not met any ex-members who work fast-food or minimum wage jobs for that mater. The reason I left was that I was tired of standing at the light blatantly lying to people for a donation. Where's the honor in that? At least I know that I've earnd my money. It takes balls to support yourself and your family on your own. You are obviously an immature child without a care in the world.
I won't even dignify the guns and knives comment.
I try to keep an open mind, but come on.....

At 10:23 pm, Blogger LoxyFady said...

I think I understand your sentiment, but you have to ask yourself, do hateful comments (even ones disguised in jest) really make you any better than anyone else?

I'm not your definition of an "apostate" (neither is BarbarianDave) unless you are going by the dictionary definition - "renunciation of a religious faith" - then I guess we sort of are. But a good majority of us are good people with good hearts doing what we believe to be right. (Sound familiar?)

Whether you understand it or not, posts like these are a big fat slap in the face to people who really don't deserve it at all.

At 10:52 pm, Anonymous Nina said...

"I'm not your definition of an "apostate" (neither is BarbarianDave) unless you are going by the dictionary definition - "renunciation of a religious faith" - then I guess we sort of are. But a good majority of us are good people with good hearts doing what we believe to be right. (Sound familiar?)"

I'm sorry little bro, but i totally agree. We're just doing our best to make ourselves a good life and a good life for our children. i know you don't think of me as an 'evil apostate' but still....a little condescending, no?

At 11:00 pm, Blogger Blog God said...

guys, give him a break, dave, loxy, calm down. I think he was just joking. As our cultist leader used to say, "if the shoe fits, wear it".

At 4:35 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Joe,

This post I have to say is as low as I have seen you go...I mean come on to poke fun at offensive things and take things like what happened with Ricky as a joke offends alot of people including myself...and I'm not an apostate, I'm a family member! I could go on, but I think BarbarianDave and others have already said everything I would have said to you, so I won't say anything! BarbarianDave I think you've got guts to say something about this post! Good luck with your life! And to need to grow up a bit and be more careful what you say on your blog!

-18 year old, female, USA

At 7:04 am, Blogger Florence said...

I think...if one realizes the mistake and substitutes "detractor" for "apostate"...therein lies the humor.
I don't think Joe meant to criticize or condescend anybody who left the Family and isn't actively involved in hating it.
If this post is referring to the flaming that began on my blog (which I assume it is)...then I cannot say for sure that I know who those trolls are or what they actually feel in real life outside the WWW, but in comparison to them and their tactless and offensive banter, Joe is positively saintly; and I wouldn't exactly blame Joe for reacting the way he did. Maybe it's easier to take offense if you haven't read what the initial instigators said...
And I think anyone who knows Joe or reads his blog on a regular basis will realize that everything he says has to be taken with a grain of salt. It's not all meant to be taken literally or at face value.
"18-year-old-female, USA"...I think you should rebuke the Sen-si and keep going for God. If you're easily offended, you should probably refrain from reading blogs--because everyone makes the mistake of unintentionally offending some reader population at least once during their bloggage. We're human and we can't all be perfect and sensitive to anonymous readers all of the time. I'm sure that if you formulated your comment in a different way (no one likes to be called "low" or told to "grow up"), you would probably get an apology from Joe, who I'm sure is not the kind of person who takes lightly offending anybody, even if by accident.
Loxyfady and Barbarian...I like the fact that you didn't call yourselves Anonymous. I really really do. I think that you can't really respect or consider anything an Anonymous person says, because it's something that just comes in with the courage of saying who you are and standing by your opinion. Therefore the trolls and apostates (oops...detractors. Bad mistake, that!) that grace my blog have my sincerest annoyance...whereas you have my respect.
Have a NICE NICE NICE life. And I mean it!!!
(Sorry for the looong comment! I just felt sorry for having started this...sort of.)

At 10:24 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

this is called an "evil apostate complex."
see, "schizos" aren't actually more than 1 person. ppl w/ "persecution complexes" aren't actually being persecuted.

as far as i know u ppl aren't evil apostates!! 4 crying out loud, u can't get offended by something that has nothing 2 do w/ u. if u think that my evil apostate-izing is anything more than mocking & exaggerating a cliche, & especially if u think i mean any & all former members, u have an "evil apostate" complex. all i know about u ppl is that loxy has nice legs & dave likes naked guys. of course nina's my sister, but she isn't & the rest of u don't sound like the evil wicked boogeymen apostates that hide under the bed & in the closet.

as long as u don't dis me or try 2 murder me & my friends i got no prob w/ u. the ppl who i'm slapping deserve it. if u don't like it, don't read my blog! i probably don't read urs! & i shall take up my righteous holy crusade anytime against them 1 on 1! choose ur weapon. as soon as my arm gets better..

plus come on, it's funny... lightbulbs...


i added a new 1! see if u can find it.

At 11:19 am, Blogger LoxyFady said...

I'll be the first to admit I have an "evil apostate complex" and there's a good reason for that.

You're right though, you do have a right to speak your mind on your blog. Must be nice. On the other hand some of us continue to watch our P's and Q's least we earn oursevles an apostate title of our own. If nothing else it's the respectful thing to do.

Other than that, no hard feelings. (Seriously, just call me outspoken.) I wish I could take the 'nice legs' compliment personally but alas they aren't my legs. :P

At 11:55 am, Blogger Joan said...

Whoa...that was heeeavy!

At 4:07 pm, Blogger BarbarianDave said...

Naked guys???? You must be confusing me with someone else... Looking over my blog and can't see any references to naked guys..
Anyway, I know Joe was probabaly just reacting to something he read somewhere else, beleive me I've heard it all. I respect the fact that he hasn't chosen to censor my comments{unlike some bloggers).When i stated that he was an immature child without a care, I should have said that his post came across that way. I don't know Joe from Adam so I really shouldn't judge too much.
I do repect Joe for standing up for something he believes in. I just think he is capable of doing it in a more sophisticated way.
I'm all about getting a rise out of people, so I do actually know where he's coming from. Don't really know why it bothered me so much.

At 4:24 pm, Anonymous Gio said...

Loxy, just like us and let us like you. You'll be fine.

Joe, the best joke I've heard since the 7-8-9 series. Good stuff.


PS: "The reason I left was that I was tired of standing at the light blatantly lying to people for a donation. Where's the honor in that?"

What?! I love those lukewarm afternoons and those blatant lies. That happens to be one of my favourite things in the whole world.

Opinions may vary.

At 5:32 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

i'm sorry. i don't mean 2 disrespect any1 except evil bad guys w/ too much time on their hands & no manners.

dave: dude, it's cause ur always begging me 4 more pictures of me w/o a shirt on. heehee.
ya, i think there's a time 4 sophistication, but i have these it's-so-stupid-it's-funny moods.

why did the boy fall off the swing?

cause he had no arms & legs.


loxy: "just like us & let us like u" --ya, Gio, i would agree w/ that. i would add: & flash us from time 2 time on ur webcam, & our loxy-esteem will b flying high.


really, u can censor comments?

haha, jk.

At 5:54 pm, Anonymous Z said...

Bashing is fun!

At 6:16 pm, Blogger LoxyFady said...

That's right...I've still got my boobs, but the webcam had to go - that's all anyone wants to see when you've got a webcam. :P

At 6:46 pm, Blogger BarbarianDave said...

Good one!

At 11:07 pm, Anonymous michelle said...

You're inspired by yourself, aren't you? Ha ha
Not specifically at this post, but I must say that I too was disturbed at your extreme views on certain things. It's as if you have a one-sided view that you think is so "Family politically correct" that you present it in such a way, that it slights your readers to react. It's funny, though. Makes you laugh if you really realize how ridiculous the so-called argument is, even if you were really serious. And since we're all trying to be so "balanced" and "approachable" it tickles to sometimes read a view that just appeals to one audience. Gets reactions. Fun...

At 10:01 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

huh? what's w/ ppl trying 2 b cool by association & dissention--by taking whole paragraphs 2 say "others have already said everything I would have said to you, so I won't say anything".. or heady when it doesn't suit them?
u can't dissent with the dissenter. that just makes u mainstream.


At 11:23 am, Anonymous TheNakedOne said...

Joe, I know Loxy and Barbarian and they're both wonderful people. Loxy and Barbarian, I know Joe and he's "wonderful people" too. So I'm so glad we're making love not war. (This comment is most likely totally unnecessary but I felt like saying it. God bless the federation.)

At 1:11 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joe, see "The Lenny Bruce" story if you ever get a chance. About a stand-up comedian that was jailed for his humor.


At 1:57 pm, Anonymous michelle said...

I know I'm not trying to be cool by any kind of associating. Mainstream, maybe, but i write what I feel. You certainly do the same yourself.
"There's nothing new under the sun".

At 6:11 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

aack, my dad's gonna jail me 4 my humour!!
jk. glad u got another comp.

michelle, i wasn't talking about u, it was the 18 yr old in the US. another sort of "complex" perhaps? of course, if the shoe fits u enough 2 have u shoot out a rebuttal within 10 min...


At 6:57 pm, Anonymous Z said...

This isn't related but: I just thought I'd let you know, Joe, that I thre up a review of your book "En Avant" here:

At 12:42 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

txs dude.

i agree w/ u in all the points u mentioned. wrote it over a period of 6 yrs, starting at 14, so ya, it changes, hopefully 4 the better.

ps: u misspelt the link 2 here. hehehe.


At 6:26 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey tough guy,

Why don't you stand up for yourself instead of letting your "friends" do it for you? Come on....your gonna let a little chick off in japan who doesn't even "know" you say the best come back here?

18 year old, female, USA

At 6:28 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And of course I'd love to put a name....but what would that help you do??? Umm...let me see...hunt me down, spead gossip with my name,...I could probably think of alot worse but heck why waste the time? Sometimes it's best to remain anonymous for safety's sake...and don't we all just like playing it safe?

18 year old, female, USA

At 6:32 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

But what the's your blog say what you like! I'm just warning you kiddo it'll get you into trouble soon if you aren't more careful....

18 year old, female, USA

At 9:08 am, Anonymous TheNakedOne said...

This all started when some anonymous idiot bashed Joe (and ever other Family member along with him) on said "little chick off in Japan"'s website. At least Joe had the sense to laugh at it.

At 9:30 am, Blogger Joan said...

Good lord, why don't you just delete this post?

At 3:30 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

but the best comeback is 2 b able 2 say, "ask my friends."

fine fine. man, 4 comments from u deserves an address. i like u! ur fun.

hey, r u hot? could u send me a picture?

Y would i want 2 spread gossip about u?

man, Y did u have 2 go & dis Flo? i liked u!

& Y would ppl ever like playing it safe? --u'd never get laid that way!

i love how u always type out the whole 18 yr old, female, usa, w/ all the commas in the right places every time. it's cute.


bewaaaaaaare or i'll turn my lightbulb wielding monster against uuuuuu. how many 18 yr old females in the usa does it take 2 change a lightbulb?

1 to screw it in real good...

heehee. jk.

don't forget that picture!

At 4:49 pm, Blogger Alyx said...

Oh joe joe, such controversy. I thought it was funny until the butcher knife. There are just some things you know, that you really shouldn't joke about.

At 5:55 pm, Anonymous Z said...

ok joe... ill fix that link....

At 7:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAha! Okay Joe you win it! I know I may sound horribly bitchy on this site...but I just wanted to see how much gut you had to stand up for yourself and what you post ( and your friends although that wasn't meant to be a diss to flo...I think she's cool to take one for you).....but yeah you're cool! Take care kiddo!

18 year old, female, USA

At 7:49 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You just hit on a sensitive topic...that's all....but you sure know how to work yourself out of a situation! Good'll need it if you intend on doing this more often!

18 year old, female, USA

P.S. We will meet someday I'm the pixs will have to wait!

At 9:33 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn it Joe. Damn it. Count to ten before you blog. Then keep on shinning and be a pretty lightbulb for Jesus. Amen?


At 1:31 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

really good joe.. & to all u loser who cant take things as a joke..losen was really quite funny!! good stuff

At 5:08 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

miss santa cruz wanted 2 see how much guts i have? u couldn't already tell?

am i reactionary?

alright! look at this! a genuine sims curse--right here on my humble blog! i am so honoured.

hey dude, glad 2 see u here. could i write u an email? what's ur address?


At 5:12 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

wait, i shall ask kenji who u r, anonymous, that's what i'll do! he lives around there. he'll send me all the juicy photos i need.


At 8:38 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha! I really pray you don't get your hopes dashed to pieces when Kenji comes up with nothing....

18 year old, female, USA

At 9:15 pm, Blogger BarbarianDave said...

It's funny when someone is telling people to loosen up and take a joke, yet they're too scarred to even use an internet identity.

At 8:07 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

by the simple admission that u know kenji, as well as that u did not contest that he lived around u, or that i called u 'santa cruz,' ur comment meant more 2 me than u know...

i see u shaking in ur high heels.


At 1:23 pm, Anonymous f|35h said...

Kneel to the specter general.
Grovel to the sun of stars.


I am Kenji

You ask me, anon up there is a 50 year old dude trying to hook up with you.

I'm hoping.

At 4:17 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anit have shit do with being scared...its called having better things in life to do than have a blog..

At 5:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha kenj. nah i wasn't planning on writing u. just wanted 2 see if she was in california like i thot. heehee


At 7:12 pm, Blogger BarbarianDave said...

The notion that bloggers do nothing all day exept post is ridiculous. Most people I know that blog have very full daily schedules. If anything they tend to be the more active creative types. Posting and reading other post on average takes five to ten minutes out of my daily routine........but that's probably as long as it took you to read this.

At 12:20 am, Blogger Julzz Rolaa said...

ok, youre posts are waaaay too good, ive been reading them all through my informatics school hours. its like, the first blog that im reading the posts without pics and without stopping. im glad u spammed around, otherwise i wouldnt have found u!


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