Thursday, June 14, 2007

Indigo: Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

She said, “I did hear about the conversation at breakfast,” and kissed my fingers one by one. Evening found us, just as dawn had, wrapped in each other on the indefatigable divan.

There had been a timeless moment as I lay there late, alone, when I wondered if she would come. Then she materialized in the dark corridor and slipped into my arms and I knew that whatever mistakes or misjudgments I had made in the foggy, sleepless morning were forgiven. Chances came in pairs.

Or maybe in clusters, like grapes. I needed clusters. I was accident-prone.

I said, “Art is a passion of mine too.”

“Why had you not told me?”

“Beauty tends to render me inescapably speechless. Forgetful, perhaps.”

She slapped at me playfully, but I had meant it. She ran tender fingers up my neck, “I do not know how you managed to keep me out of the conversations. I would have thought my own poor example a tempting illustration to make your point.”

I sighed long and lingering somewhere inside of me. If she knew how close. “Your secrets are your own,” I whispered. My fingers were her own too and she found them and folded them in hers. Our thoughts floated for a while, hand in hand, in a calm sea of longing and prolonging. I said, “But tonight we shall not speak of art.”

She said, “We shall speak of gambling.”

And my fingertips found her chin and drew it slowly towards me. Darkness fell—closed eyelids traded for a whole new world opened to me.

Lips that were meant to meet stumbled onto each other, and a spark that had been left smoldering for too long burst into flame.

END

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8 Comments:

At 2:34 pm, Anonymous mom said...

Whew, finally! So glad it wasn't a tragedy! A fun story, but not for the faint-hearted.

Love you lots,

Mom

 
At 6:05 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww come on dude, you can't just leave such a well written story off like that? You built up so nicely towards the bed shaking, but then left it with out.

 
At 9:59 pm, Anonymous Administrator said...

dude, the bed shaking never happened. and actually.. it WAS a tragedy. it just stopped right before the tragic part, together with the alteration of a few details. i have the lowdown.
but now it's out and that's over, back to the fun!

Love, Joe.

 
At 5:54 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i c so is there a part five??? ;)

 
At 8:10 am, Anonymous Administrator said...

ha no. that is closure. there are more exciting things to do.

Love, Joe.

 
At 7:02 pm, Anonymous Miss B said...

I liked the reflection you wrote, Joe. Pretty cool. Was that when we were in Mex City? I remember that park by our house had these patches of 4 leaf clovers, did you know that? I had never seen them before in my life, but that park was full of 'em. So maybe Jess didn't have to look that long before finding them, heh.

 
At 12:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha It was great. I loved it!

 
At 7:38 pm, Blogger thisisme said...

A comment, if I may...

I read the whole thing through just right now. Wasn't as good as I expected it to be, considering the imagery of the first chapter. Not too bad though... After that first chapter it became rather perdictable but not enough to make it distasteful, just a little slip here and there.

You seem like like to use "you see" alot. It appeared several times within the space of a page or so. Not bad if the use of the phrase is stretched out, but it was a little to compounded and frequent for my tastes. Also, during the second chapter, you use too many metaphors. Almost a new one every line. Not that metaphors are bad, but thier like fine chocolate really, if you have too much of it at once it kind of kills the effect.

All in all, not bad... I've read worse of yours.

 

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