I have a rare treat for you.
It is a photo of my arm.
Can't you not wait to see it?
But this is not just any photo. This is a photo of my arm after I jumped over a bush on the way to breakfast at the camp. See, food is very important to me, and my entire room felt the same way. That's why we were first in line at every meal, bar few. Of course, we did suffer some casualties...
Now, imagine walking down a hallway with 300 people you've never met before, with an arm looking like that. 200 of those people are going to ask you what happened. "I jumped over a bush" is boring! Here's what I came up with.
See if you can think of any more:
I was attacked by a wild saber toothed tiger. There were women and children present. I had to sacrifice an arm.
This is a manifestation of stigmata. Check out the holes in my feet!
I was out back bush surfing. It's a new extreme sport.
I'm getting everyone to sign my arm. Here, take this pocketknife and...
This? It's a horrible, contagious disease that I just picked up. It's airborne anyway, would you like a hug?
I'm healing people with my stripes.
I'm a suicidal drunk.
Got into a fight. You should see the other guy's arm.
I was attacked by a giant, arm-eating bush.
I jumped over a bush on my way to breakfast. It was too wide for me to clear it, had to lean my legs forward, balanced by sticking one arm behind my head, which consequently was scratched. Guess which arm.
There you have it. I know you could do twice as good, but I'm only human. Well, prove it to me. Leave a comment with your clever answers, for posterity and storage for the next time I do this.